Lucid Dreams

Lucid Dreams. The human mind is truly a wonder.

I've been trying to figure out this gift (?) which I seemed to have more control of just lately. And, recently, I did find its technical term - 'lucid dreams'. Wikipedia states that "during lucid dreams, it is possible to exert conscious control over the dream characters and environment, as well as to perform otherwise physically impossible feats" (2008) - which is exactly what I'm capable of doing while asleep (sort of). Lucid dreams are also those dreams in which the person is merely aware that he is dreaming. I've had many of these as a child and I remember forcing myself to wake up in one of them, sensing that there's an impending doom. Dreams to me are like lives in a different but similar dimension. You are the same you, with the same fears, same weaknesses, same longings, although I do notice that I tend to be weaker in dreams - crying over things which I never would dare cry over in reality.

I used to fear that I have this terrible illness (I actually think I have a lot) which manifests itself only when I'm sleeping. It began when I was a working college student and I had to sleep late on evenings due to tight schedules. Being a service crew is definitely not easy especially when you care about school grades, and when you had to drink with some workmates right after work (yes! it's wine!). I remember waking up in the middle of the night (this was the very first - I wasn't even sure if I was really awake) and my body just couldn't move no matter how hard I try ("rutoy!" hahahaha...). The feeling was truly eerie and I was close to feeling panic - it was like struggling for something unexplainable. It was also the time when I realized one of the disadvantages of sleeping alone in a room. Nevertheless, I remember being able to utter "Mama" (goodness!) in my futile attempts to call attention; until I finally was able to attain full consciousness.

Then similar evenings followed. But the next times were a bit different and these were what led me to my present diagnosis of my case. The 'couldn't move body' was gone and this was completely replaced by a clear 'conscious unconsciousness' (confused? that's exactly lucid dreaming). But what's really alarming was the presence of the same eerie feeling I felt at first. Until I read this:

"During the actual transition into the dream state, one is likely to experience sleep paralysis, including rapid vibrations, a sequence of loud sounds and a feeling of twirling into another state of body awareness, 'to drift off into another dimension'. Also there is frequently a sensation of falling rapidly or dropping through the bed as one enters the dream state. After the transition there may be the sensation of entering a dark black room from which one can induce any dream scenario of one's choosing, simply by concentrating on it. The key to success is not to panic, especially during the transition, which can be quite sudden" (Wikipedia 2008).

This exactly was the closest to what I felt. Hmmm... so there's a treasure (speaking of controlling what things to dream about).... I also read that mastering the art of lucid dreaming is like having a genie in a bottle with you as its master - all wishes, all dreams, granted!!! - in dreams. And so I learned that I must embrace the eerie feeling instead of trying to struggle to be awake. And I did. I did many times to the point that the eerie feeling was already lost (maybe it's still there but I had learned not to feel it as 'eerie'), and transition from consciousness to dreaming is no more difficult to achieve. It was, I should say, truly one of the wonders of living.

But humans as we are, I must admit that I have abused the craft. It's sad that when you can control your dreams, you can't control yourself from dreaming about the right things. I remember the coming 1000 years when all men will be trained to achieve perfection, and the following release of Satan to test humans for one last chance. This has been always my fear. I used to complain to my Bible teachers before that if there ain't no assurance that I would not fail as Adam and Eve did - despite their perfection - then I don't want to be resurrected and relive life (that is if Armageddon comes after my death). If my dreams were tests, then hell, or maybe even gehenna, will certainly be my future (FYI: 'hell' means death, 'gehenna' is second death or total destruction - Jehovah is not that mean to torture us forever in fires). But hey, I'm still imperfect so maybe it's not that bad (hehehe... excuses... excuses... excuses).

Anyways, life is wonderful and dreams are healthy for the mind (scientifically). It's nice to wake up every morning and be surprised that we still got chances to improve ourselves. While dreams may serve as sources of wonders, we must always learn to distinguish one from reality. We may be weak when we're asleep; but being awake should create a lot of difference.